Ladies, how many of you have had such a tragic week or even a day and you just want to stuff your face while curled up in your bed? How many times does it seem like just when you’re finding balance again your feet get knocked out from under you? And let’s be real, staying down looks much easier than using the last of your strength to try and stand again. In fact staying down and eating until your emotions are numb just sounds like a much better idea to you.
I will be honest, all I can think about right now is how I want to go eat another muffin from Jenny Jo Martinez amazing kitchen and possibly a third or fourth, maybe later some fried calamari, with pasta or just a big bowl of Chicken Marsala from India’s. Those things sound so much better than fighting this battle right now. Curling up under the covers and stuffing my face or going to cry on a friend and eat with them too sounds absolutely like the easiest.
Fortunately experience has taught me that instead of being a solution, indulging in food and friends is only a Band-Aid to a gaping wound in need of stitches from steady careful skilled hands. I would only wake up tomorrow to find myself disappointed and empty again. Instead I can rejoice. Not because things are perfect, or because I found my balance. Even as I write this I am recovering from another wave of tears.
Instead I rejoice because I have hope.
I know that I am still crouching and I am still trying to find my footing but the King of Kings holds my hand steadying me. If I had my hope in man and not the Lord, I would be shattered to the point that I would be indulging in the cheesecake factory. I know that my hope comes not from man doing what is right but from knowing the Lord defends me, protects me, forms and aligns my path.
My identity is not defined by anything that happens to me because I am already defined as a daughter of the Most High. I will not indulge in food because it is unsatisfactory & fleeting but I will indulge in seeking how to identify even more with the Lord through this situation and I will learn all I can to speak to women in the future. Don’t let yourself fall into a vicious cycle of seeking comfort, hope or identity in food. Let yourself be comforted by the King of Kings and be made whole by the one who formed you.
Jesus is my hope & hope does not disappoint.